Merry Hitmas!
by Noeraxx7
Summary: If you saw Santa Claus, you could see a purple spot on his face instead of his nose. You ask why? Well, it all started with a telephone conversation between a perverse French and an angry Scottish, who just became angrier when he arrived at home. It's a bit late, but this is my christmas story for this year. No pairing. Just a short one-shoot, written after an rp. Human names used.


_**First of all, Merry Christmas...**_  
…_**... even though it's late a bit.**_  
_**This story is written after a ropeplay, and thanks for all those awesome guys and girls who were rping there and helped me to write this -really not that funny- story.**_  
_**Sorry Alec, Steph and Jessey, but you weren't in the story, guys. But thanks, you all had those frickin' ideas and they helped a lot. **_  
_**And sorry for everyone, but the end is sucks, I just can't write really funny endings.**_  
_**Thanks for reading this story -I guess none of you read this part- and etc. **_

_**Very sorry for my mistakes -in grammar, meaning, spelling and etc-.**_  
_**So, have fun.**_

* * *

"_Come on, mon amie, you can't forbid this."_  
"_Oh, I can! And I do! AND! I'm fuckin' not your "amie"!"_  
"_But you could be... again? Ohohohohohon~" annoying laugh from the other side of the phone._  
_Allistor was about to hang up. "Fuck's sake, just don't come here!"_  
"_Don't you remember those old Christmas da-"_  
"_I REMEMBER! THAT'S THE PROBLEM!"_  
_Francis smirked "I know you want them back"_  
"_Asshole!"_  
"_Exactement"_  
"_FUCK YOU!"_  
"_Oui~" And Francis was laughing like always when Allistor said this. The redhead banged his forehead on the glass of the red booth._  
"_Fuck's sake, just don't come here you perv!"_  
"_Oh, mon amie, you know I'll be there~ What do you think about a santa costume? Or..."_  
"_Go to hell!"_  
"_...Or I don't have to wear anything? A santa hat'd be enoug-"_  
"_Screw you, fuckin perv!" And he hung up. _  
_Francis was talking for a while about his fabulous idea about a santa hat on his... yes, there... until he noticed that he's only talking to the phone._

* * *

They were in the living room, sitting on one-one big pillows, placed on the floor. The fire in the fireplace was the only illuminant. The man was sitting cross-legged on his pillow, watching the fire, while the girl, who also sat on her pillow, was hugging her knees and looked at the really interesting floor.  
The old radio was quiet, the last song ended about half an hour earlier. In fact none of thes wanted to listen to those old, boring Christmas songs but it was a habit, Arthur's habit, and he just needed those songs.  
Maybe they wanted to say something, but before they could, a voice from outside broke the silence.

_Knock-knock-knock_

The two in the living room blinked at the door, then their eyes met. For a moment or so, they stayed in silence. Then after that -just a little bit awkward- moment, the blonde man whispered.  
"Open the door." He glared at the brown haired girl.  
"Why would I?" The girl glared back at him, then she leaned her back on the wall next to the fireplace. "Open it by yourself if you want to."  
"Tch, bloody no." He looked at the door, then shook his head and crossed his arms.  
The girl shrugged.  
They really didn't wanted to open the front door, so they rather ignored it. Opening the door was one of the most dangerous and stupid things they could do. So they didn't do.  
Arthur looked at the window and he winced. "It's still snowing..." he mumbled, but the girl heard it clearly.  
"Still? But it snowing since yesterday." She was happy, she's never seen snow before and yesterday she wished for snow forever. When it was still snowing at the morning and the snow outside was pretty high, she was still happy. But when it was noon and the snow still didn't want to stop, she changed her mind. She loved that white, cold thing outside, but it was a bit more than enough. Maria-Clara was still very happy though.

_Knock-knock-KNOCK!_

The one outside was probably angry, because the last knock was a bit too strong and they could hear that the third one's hissed a bit.  
Arthur and Maria stayed in quiet. They were staring at the door. Before Phili could say anything, the Englishman kicked down his very manly, pink, fluffy slippers, showing he won't open the door and he really doesn't care what'll happen, the door will be closed for ever if it depends on him.  
Actually Phili didn't want to say anything. She had no problems with it, she also didn't want to open the door, she totally didn't feel like she want the door to be opened.  
"What, you don't say anything?" Arthur looked at the brown girl a bit surprised.  
"Why, would you open the door?"  
"No." He sighed and looked at the door again. "I wonder who is it."  
"I'm sure it's Slenderman." She glared at the door. "Or just a sheep... A red one."  
"Why a red sheep?" He blinked at her a bit confused.  
"Why not?" Maria-Clara smiled at him.  
They both sighed. This was an unsaid thing but it meant that whoever was outside, he can wait till the snow melts. If he wants and even if he doesn't.  
Silence again. They heard the low voice of the frying meat in the oven, the scones were already done -because no Christmas without scones if Arthur is around- and the Christmas tree's calming scent made them smiling.  
It looked so happy, so lovely, like a normal and peaceful Christmas. It was snowing hard outside but they didn't care. The fireplace's hot light -and fire- helped them to forget about the cold weather, the darkness. It was just a tranquil, silent moment...

_KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!_

…. and the pissed off knocking broke it.  
"Maria! Door!"  
"Artie! No!"  
Arthur looked at Phili frowning a bit. "Open that bloody door."  
"Open it by yourself!"  
They glared at each other then just shrugged and looked away sulking. None of them wanted to open the door, with the frozen hell on the other side of it, even if the Satan was the one knocking on the door.

_KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-...!_

The knocking continued for a while, then the one outside stopped it and tried with the bell. It was useless, the tinkler was wrong since years and they never wanted to repair it. Probably the only reason why he didn't kicked the door in was that he totally didn't want to repair it later. So he just banged his head on the door and continued knocking quietly.  
For a while they didn't say anything, but after a minute or so, they broke the silence -it was silent there, even if the guy outside still was knocking on the door.  
"Open the door!"  
"No way! Open it if you wanna."  
"No! No, no, no, no and no!"  
"You're the manlier one here, open it!"  
Maria covered his face with her palm and shook her head a little. "Artie, what if sometimes you think before you talk." She looked at him, raising an eyebrow and was not sure about the other's seriousness.  
"tch..." The blonde man looked away blushing a bit. "just open it!"  
"No way!" she hit his head with one of the kicked down -still very manly- slippers.  
After a few minutes the English man sighed and stood up.  
"bloody hell." he mumbled something and walked over to the door.

He sighed again and turned the key in the lock.  
He had no time to open it, the door opened by itself, too, hitting Arthur in the face. He fell to the ground, holding his nose.

"FUCK YOU TWO BLOODY BASTARD, WHY CAN'T YOU OPEN THIS FUCKIN' DOOR?!"

A totally snowy and angry Allistor was standing in the door, one of his eyebrows was twitching in nervous.  
Arthur started laughing. "Poor Scottie!" He laughed very loud although he was sitting on the ground.  
Phili hid her face into Arthur's pillow and she was lying there, trying not to laugh too much. It was an impossible mission, she burst out laughing and started to roll on the floor, holding her stomach.  
Allistor gently pushed away his little brother with his leg -in fact he kicked him away- and slammed the door.  
The girl started to wave. "Welcome home~" And oh, she was trying so hard not to laugh.  
Allistor looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Cuz you couldn't open that fuckin door, either!"  
"C'mon, you know it's cold outside..." she pouted a little.  
"No, fuck you, I don't know!" he rolled his eyes and shook his head, making about a kilo of snow fall to the floor.  
"Calm down, brother, we thought you'd enjoy the hot more if you stay outside longer" Arthur tried to look serious.  
"You know, right? The only reason why I don't kill you is Christmas." He glared at his younger brother.  
The blonde man just rolled his eyes.  
"Oh, you two, at least smile a little~" Phili was smiling at them and hoped they'll smile back.  
She got the same, idiotic, wide smile-like thing from both of them. The brothers looked at her with the totally same, stupid grin on their face. No, they didn't look like psychopaths. Not at all.  
But they made the girl laugh.

The redhead wanted to yell -more-, wanted to slap his brother and maybe the girl, too, wanted to storm away to his room and drink whisky and smoke, wanted to be alone and dry his clothes, but he just sighed and threw his snowy-drenched coat at a chair and kicked down his shoes.  
The other two blinked at him, they wasn't sure about his feelings. Arthur was sure he just didn't wanted to wear that bloody... he mean snowy coat and shoes anymore and Allistor will kill them in one minute. Phili hoped he'll just only shout.  
They were both incorrect.  
The redhead's also totally drenced pullover followed his coat to the chair and then he touched his wet shirt. "Fuck..." He mumbled as started to unbutton his shirt.  
One of the fluffy, pink -and still manly!- slippers flied through the living room and hit the Scotsman's forehead.  
"Don't dare to take off that shirt here, Scottie!" Maria-Clara glared at him,she was just a bit blushed.  
Allistor raised one of his eyebrows as he looked at the slipper.  
"Arthur, you still have these?"  
He shook his head, totally ignoring what Phili said and continued to take off his shirt. When the second slipper hit his nose, he understand what the girl wanted to say and sighed.  
"Aye, aye, fuck you both" he mumbled and tried to kill them with his eyes while he was walking towards the stairs but he said nothing else, just went upstairs.

The little bit confused and embarrassed atmosphere was there for minutes but finally Arthur broke the silence with a sigh.  
"It's bloody Christmas after all... I guess he's not gonna kill us. Not yet." He shrugged and finally stood up from the floor, still holding his -totally not bleeding- nose. "Bloody wanker, he really had to broke my bloody nose... tch, idiot" he mumbled while he was going to the bathroom.  
Phili just blinked at the fireplace as both of the brothers left her, lying on the pillows. She didn't have to wait for too long, Arthur came back after about 2 minutes, shaking his head. "Wanker." He nodded and plopped down to his pillow, totally ignoring the fact that Phili's head was still there.  
"Sorry, but what are you exactly doing on my pillow, anyways?" He looked at her, frowning a little.  
Maria-Clara smiled at him and poked his cheek. "I'm lying here. Hm, don't you need glasses, Arthur?"  
He rolled his eyes. "My brother is enough, don't bloody mess with me, too!"  
She laughed and sat up. "Okey"

After about ten minutes of silence the still pissed off redhead walked back to the living room and stood in front of the two sitting on the pillows. He really wanted to say something very rude and wicked but Arthur and Phili started to laugh as they looked at Allistor.  
He was wearing red, plaid trousers and a simple, gray sweater, his hair was messy and still looked wet.  
Allistor knew, he can say anything, the other two will laugh for a few minutes and they'll hear nothing, so he rather just grabbed his drenched coat and pullover and carried them to the bathroom, then came back and saw two, still laughing, retarded idiots -or at least this was what he thought.

Scott plopped down to the couch and had to wait till at least seven minutes when his brother and the girl stopped laughing.  
He glared at them. "Can you two stop laughing?"  
That two nodded and looked at Allistor. "Yes, sir!"  
'Sir' rolled his eyes and looked outside. This calm-like reaction surprised the other two -again-.

After a while Arthur stood up and walked over to the radio, turned it on.  
"Arthur!" The other two moaned a little as the "Let it snow" started.  
"What if you turn it off?"  
"There won't be music then." The blonde shrugged and walked back to his pillow.  
Phili grabbed the man's pillow and hugged it tight, glaring at Arthur.  
He just sighed and sat down to the floor. As a revenge, he flicked the girl's forehead who just smirked at him.

They actually wanted to start something when a knocking stopped them. All of them stared at the door and Phili and Arthur wanted to start another argument, when Alistor stood up from the couch and loosely walked over to the door.  
The redhead opened the door without any hesitation and looked at the man, wearing a Santa costume.  
The Santa started laughing, like he always did, with a wide smile on his face, but he couldn't even say two "ho" when something hard and strong hit his nose.  
Allistor glared at him for a moment, totally sure about what he did, when he noticed it was not the one he expected. No, it was not Francis with another idiotic, perverse Christmas idea, it was not Francis, wearing a stuffed Santa costume, it was not even a fat Francis.  
The guy he hit was the one and real Santa -who was lying in the snow at that moment, knocked out- and he didn't wanted to rape them or dance on the table wearing only a Santa hat -hopefully.  
Arthur and Phil stared at Allistor and the red heap, totally frozen and uncertainly about their fate.  
Allistor -because he had no better idea in his girlish embarrassment- turned around, stared back at his still frozen friends, raising his hands in front of himself.  
"I can explain it!"

* * *

_**The End**_


End file.
